Ministry Interaction
Every interaction with those people in our path is an opportunity to encounter Christ.
After receiving a letter of complaint about my interaction with rambunctious juveniles at a retreat, I asked the class for feedback after I read the letter to them. I was hoping to get some sort of apologies from the students. Hummm…”The best laid plans of mice and men gone astray.”
I did receive two written replies. A person who thinks they can predict teen spirit might want to re-think that for a minute.
Student One wrote: “I don’t think that because a couple of kids messed up by talking at a boring retreat, that you should take your anger or disappointment out on our preacher, who would do anything for anyone at any time. He has been stressing since said retreat, just because this lady is a tattletale deep down. In the letter you sent him that he read us, you made him seem like an evil, evil man who can’t control kids. The only thing someone can’t control is themselves. When you came and sat by us, I immediately knew by the looks you gave us and by your attitude that you somehow thought you were better than us and should embarrass us, but I kept it to myself, unlike you, who frankly, seem judgmental. Preacher was not trying to be our parent, because no rebellious teens like their parents. Preacher can read someone and knows how to approach someone, unlike you who just sits down with such a sense of entitlement, and then knocks me down emotionally. I don’t think preacher did anything wrong, you’re just a bully.” *
Student Two wrote: “I would like to respectfully disagree with the lady who wrote to preacher. She had no idea what preacher was doing. She didn’t even know why preacher was sitting with us. It was actually to help us, WHICH HE DID! Preacher knows us very well, and he knows the boy he was sitting by has medical issues and ADHD. That’s why he sat there! If preacher hadn’t sat with us, I can guarantee you, it would’ve been a lot worse. I am very disappointed someone would write such a letter like that before understanding the situation. You should never judge a book by its cover. It has also come to my attention that in the letter, the writer admitted that this program or retreat was boring and long. I feel like the writer should’ve treated us with a little respect instead of acting like they knew the situation. After all, we are just 15 or 16 years old. Who expects us to sit in silence for nearly 5 hours? I am forgiving the writer for their rudeness. I ask that she thinks about her writing and follows up preacher’s apology with a response. I have asked other people’s opinions, connected and not connected to this event, and they agree with me and the letter I’m writing right now. I hope you realize what you have said was wrong and apologize to preacher. You should not throw him under the bus for trying to help. I hope I prove to you that I am very disappointed in how of all the gifts of God, UNDERSTANDING is the most very important one for us to use. I believe that we don’t deserve a better preacher because we have the best. I feel sorry for you. But most importantly, I feel sorry for preacher, I don’t think he deserves this. This subject has been blown way out of proportion. To the writer of this letter, please write an apology as he did not deserve this!” *
Culture pushes us to fill up our calendar. In ministry, this busy-ness we adopt is not conducive to good really good listening skills. Listening where we meet Christ in encounter with the other. When I was in seminary, I wrote a poem about our failure to slow down.
Here is the link if you want to hear me read it: https://apple.co/3MNqTsm
Tell me, Mrs. Religion Teacher, do I come to the eighth grade to teach or to learn? This is a complex question. Most teachers understand that by teaching, we learn, and in learning, we begin teaching each other. I’ve realized this in my ministry, where I teach and learn from prisoners, the sick, the elderly, and middle-schoolers. I’ve learned so much from the middle schoolers, sometimes about them and sometimes about myself. It works the same way at the nursing home, jail, prison, hospital, or down on the corner. One thing I’ve learned is that whether you’re interacting with the elderly, the sick, the confessing, an inmate, or a teenager—those who need love the most—most readily give it. This is an amazing lesson I won’t forget. Their gratitude and notes of encouragement have become some of my most cherished possessions. It’s funny how simple things can carry great meaning. I’m proud to call all these friends; they are brothers and sisters in Christ. All glory be to God!
I thought long and hard about two years of my life where I had poured my passion into taking a local church to the next level. As I thought about accomplishments from the point of view of “gains,” I lined up in my head, physical achievements that clearly could say, “I was there when.” Beyond all that, I considered cases where I felt I truly shined, and one incident that involved a bad-boy sophomore, gave me a basic humility I had never experienced; as I reflected, it repeatedly came into my mind.. This was not about shining, this was about learning my place in changing the course, my course, in my personal ‘becoming.’ This is a basic leadership skill, ‘becoming.’
So, I called this young person’s mother and asked her to ask this fella if he would attend my sign-out chicken dinner after my last daily evening service. At that service, I preached about humility, specifically, what it means down deep to adopt a servant lifestyle. As I left the church to go down to the church hall, this fella was standing on the sidewalk outside, waiting for me; he had not come to the daily service.
He said, “I need to speak to you.” Smiling, I said, “Oh yeah?” He cut to the chase, “Why did you tell Mom you wanted me to come tonight?” I kept it simple, “Because when I think back on my time here, I keep coming back to the experiences we shared where you taught me something about who I was, and that means something to me.” As we stopped walking, he sized me up. “Are you saying you learned?” Pausing, “Yes.” Thoughtfully, he said, “Okay, let’s get this done.”
We joined the party, and that guy sat next to me. Looking back now, it’s easy to see that accomplishments we achieve are not plaques of ego that we hang on the wall. Achievements might be as simple as two of the faithful, sharing inside encounter; it is true what the poet said, “The best things in life are free.” When two paths intersect and then diverge, in the collision of the two, the encounter itself transcends mere exchange. If we are the sum of our experiences, simple lessons emerge where (and when) we least anticipate them, blurring the line between the giver and the receiver of guidance.